You Are Light


Rainbow – a display of the colours of the spectrum produced by dispersion of light.

Currently, I am studying to qualify as a cognitive-behavioral hypnotherapist. Hypnotherapy can trace it’s roots all the way back to shamanism, through to yoga and the sleep-temples of ancient Greece. Recently, I decided to hypnotically regress myself as far back as I could go, I wasn’t looking for a past-life regression, more a ‘just before this life’ one.  I wanted to know what I was, immediately before I was conceived.  I took myself back through adult life to childhood, back to my earliest memories and then, via my imagination into my mother’s womb.  I reversed the growth of my fetal body until I could go no further with my imagination, the information I was looking for was just beyond this point.

Suddenly, a spontaneous vision manifested, it was a special type of vision, an empty form.  Empty form visions can arise from deep non-thought meditation and kundalini awakening but they are most closely associated with the Highest Yoga Tantras of Tibetan Buddhism. They are called empty because they are completely devoid of molecular particles, although they look absolutely real, they are beyond physical materiality.  An empty form vision is to be paid attention to and understood, because it is a direct emanation of pure consciousness without contamination.

The vision was of a beautiful rainbow, arcing in front of me with the full spectrum of colours.  I was startled out of hypnosis by it’s clarity and vividness and all at once, information from previous spiritual experiences that I hadn’t fully grasped seem to coalesce in my mind giving me the answer not only to what I was, but also to what I am and to what you are, also.

So, for your information…(smiley face, this is fun!)

You are Light,

diffused by a crystalline mind into rainbow-like illusion,

entranced by the reflections of Itself,

in mirror-like consciousness.

An image from the Dalai Lamas Secret Temple. The walls are covered with murals depicting the secret spiritual practices and visions of the yogis. The illustration shows light reflecting off water and diffusing through a crystal held by a yogi. It represents the union of form and emptiness, how the One becomes the many.


From The Cosmic Serpent by Jeremy Narby. A serpent swims through the center of the brain, towards the externally located crystalline mind.


Charming the Bees

Reverence Connection Protection by Sheri Howe
Reverence Connection Protection by Sheri Howe

This summer the bees came to us.  A wild swarm settled in our chimney and then descended into the stove in our living room.  The whole stove was buzzing and the house was full of the song of countless bees.  Of course this did cause a bit of a dilemma, as we obviously didn’t want to harm them but the situation couldn’t remain as it was.  A local bee keeper was summoned who shook his head and reassuringly told me, ‘this is NOT good’.  He said the only thing to try was gently smoking them out, which meant we had to light a fire during that rarest of weather phenomena, an Irish heat wave!  We’d kept bees before in France and I had an empty hive, which I’d taken out.  I showed the beekeeper who once again shook his head and said, ‘there’s NO WAY they are just going to go in there!’  So that was that, nothing left to do but wait and see.

After several days of smoking, the situation had not improved, in fact if anything it was getting worse as hundreds of bees were coming out of the stove and dying in the house. I was very disturbed by this but in my dreams, I established a strong psychic connection with the bees.

I find I’m holding my shamanic drum, I hear singing and I play along.  Then, looking deep into the drum I see images, first a star, then the bees, they are moving upward in a spiraling vortex.  They remind me of molecules, of the breaking down of time and space in the merkaba.  Then I begin to pray for the bees to leave the chimney, I receive visions of blazing fire and many ancient bee symbols.

In desperation and with all logical and practical solutions exhausted I decided spiritual methods were our only hope and to this end I resorted to the Irish Bee Charm.  I placed my empty hive in a part of the garden behind the house in close proximity to the chimney where the bees had settled.  I took my harp and sat by the hive, improvised some music and recited the charm.

Sith co nem. Nem co doman. Doman fo nam, nert hi cach, an forlann, lan do mil, mid co saith. Sam hi ngam.

Peace up to heaven. Heaven down to earth. Earth beneath heaven, strength in each, a cup very full, full of honey. Mead in abundance. Summer in winter. 

(the charm can be heard on the CD, Cruit Go Nor, by Ann Heymann)

Not surprisingly, the bees did not all magically emerge from the chimney and enter the hive but they did leave soon after this.  I felt a sadness and I was worried they had simply died but I felt I’d done all I could in the circumstances.  Many months passed and the bees had faded from my thoughts until the day before we were due a visit from Hurricane Katrina. In preparation, I went around the garden putting away any objects that might fly around and cause damage in the coming high winds.  I remembered the hive and decided it too should be packed away.  Grabbing the top to lift it, I was simultaneously both shocked and filled with joy, to find myself surrounded by beautiful, wild, black native bees.  So it seems, that the charm may have indeed worked after all and there is still magic in the old ways! We don’t take any honey from our precious bees, we just want them to thrive, their presence alone is enough for us.

Later, the bees gifted me a profound spiritual dream-vision.

I find myself in a garden next to a tree. My family, my pets, everyone I love is there. By the tree, a red flower and magic mushrooms are growing by a pool of deep water.  From the garden I go into the kitchen of a house.  The kitchen is full of bees.  They are large, humming noisily, vibrantly active, it’s a very real, immersive experience.  Standing, with an infinity of bees flying all around me, I notice one which is bigger than the rest.  It’s blue, with raised white spots on its abdomen, like an amanita muscaria mushroom.  I think the bees are trapped and go to open the door, to let them back out into the garden, but find that it’s already open.  

I then understand that we are the bees and that the blue bee is Shiva, the ONE consciousness hidden in the many.  The kitchen is where we are now, this reality, the garden is the spiritual reality from which we come. We enter here and forget where we come from, but the door is always open, the way back to the garden is always there, if we just remember.



The Brian Boru Harp


This is an extract from my book, A Shamanic Kundalini Awakening, exploring the ‘hidden’ kundalini symbolism encoded in the Brian Boru Harp, the national symbol of Ireland.


‘He was a harp; all life that he had known and that was his consciousness was the strings; and the flood of music was a wind that poured against those strings and set them vibrating with memories and dreams. He did not merely feel. Sensation invested itself in form and colour and radiance, and what his imagination dared, it objectified in some sublimated and magic way. Past, present and future mingled; and he went on oscillating, across the broad, warm world…’ Jack London

The name for the true harp of Ireland is clairseach (Irish) or clarsach (Scottish). Unlike modern neo-Celtic harps whose strings are usually nylon, the clairseach has strings made of metal, usually brass but sometimes silver and even gold. This is the harp of legend, the instrument of the gods and heroes. Its music was given by the greatest of Irish Gods, the Dagda and through the three strains of music, Goltraighe, Sauntraighe and Geantrai, it had the power to make men laugh, cry and sleep. In the old poems and stories the harps often have special powers and personalities and are a bridge between this world and other realms, a bit like a shamanic drum in other cultures. The instrument also has a deep connection to nature and was sometimes referred to as the musical tree or Crann nan Tued, the Tree of Strings.

When I got my first clairseach, a very small simple instrument based on a carving from an Irish monastery I was simply blown away by the sound and was gripped with a fervour to learn that I hadn’t experienced since my teenage years. For most of my life I had been accustomed to being a musically advanced individual and enjoyed the various kudos that come with that but now I was a complete beginner again. What was in my head could not be translated to my fingers. I found myself with the ego of a great musician but with the fingers of a complete novice. This in fact was wonderful as it began to initiate the process of taking down my ego a peg or two. The approach of surrendering my musical identity to this new instrument coupled with meditative practice was very effective.

I was attracted to this harp because it spoke to something very ancient and deep within me. I felt there was a mystical music in my soul, which could not be expressed on the instruments I was playing. As I progressed I resolved to acquire a more serious instrument. There are a number of surviving harps but only three from the medieval period. Two of these are in Scotland and one in Ireland. The Irish one, known as the Trinity College Harp or the Brian Boru Harp is the oldest surviving instrument, c.14th century. It is the national emblem of Ireland and sits in a glass case in the Long Room of Trinity College Dublin where the Book of Kells is also housed. This harp resonated strongly with me and after a long process of research, my harp maker and I were allowed to examine this priceless artefact and produce an almost exact copy. Looking at the harp with my new found shamanic eyes it became clear to me that there was something astonishing encoded within the structure and decoration of this particular harp.

It is my personal view that the clairseach was originally a shamanic/spiritual instrument. The clairseach consists of four pieces of wood. A soundbox carved out of a solid block of willow and closed with a backplate, a curved forepillar and a harmonic curve. The great harper and researcher Ann Heymann has discovered that certain gender characteristics correspond to the various parts, the soundbox being feminine, the forepillar masculine and the harmonic curve, hermaphrodite. The hollowed out soundbox can be seen as the womb. The soundboard is flat, but when tensioned by the strings, the wood bellies up as if pregnant with sound. The forepillar has a phallic quality and actually penetrates the soundbox via a mortise and tenon joint. The harmonic curve which links these two together is both penetrated by the forepillar and penetrates the soundbox, hence hermaphrodite. However, when I looked at the harp a much deeper interpretation was revealed to me, that the Trinity College Harp essentially represents the process of spiritual enlightenment in the human being. For me the key to this is the forepillar. Carved on the forepillar is an animal; it could be a snake or a salmon. From a kundalini perspective either one works. There are no snakes in Ireland but there is the Salmon of Knowledge. The salmon returns to the source and therefore works well as an Irish kundalini symbol. Furthermore there are two heads, one going up and the other going down depicting the ascent of kundalini and it’s return back down into the individual. The motive of the ascending and descending serpent can also be found at Monasterboice on the tenth century Cross of Muiredach. Here, carved in high relief we have a panel known as Dextra Dei, the Right Hand of God.  The pre-eminent mythologist Joseph Campbell noted that,

‘… two interlacing serpents appear one heading downward the other upward, enframing three human heads in ascending series, with a human right hand above, reaching to the centre of a crowning halo-like ornamented disc. If this is not a specific reference to the top four states of an ascent of the sushumna, the sense of such an appearance on Christian monument commemorating the crucifixion remains to be explained.’

The Right Hand of God

I was sure that the forepillar represented the human spine. Just like on the Cross of Muiredach there are two serpent heads ascending and descending. On the cross the ascending head is going towards an ornamented disk symbolising enlightenment. On the harp the ascending head is moving towards a decorative mounting on the front of the harmonic curve. This contains mountings for two large crystal cabochons. The lower one is missing but the casing for it is eye shaped. The one above is a clear crystal. So here we have the kundalini serpent on the spine heading up to the third eye and union at the crown. The descending head representing the return of these united energies into the individual. It then made sense to me that the harmonic curve represented the unification of divine male and female energies. Contrary to mainstream European practice, the Gaelic harp was always played on the left shoulder with the feminine left hand playing the treble and the masculine right hand, the bass. This theme of male and female continues in the strings as the trebles were considered feminine and the bass masculine. This is further reinforced by the presence of two strings called na comhluighe. These are two strings tuned to the same pitch, symbolically dividing the scale. In Gaelic, comhluighe means, ‘lying together’. Divine male and female strings lying together; separate yet resonating the same frequency. The original harp was painted and traces still remain, the colours are red and blue. In Buryat shamanism the centre of consciousness of the human being is seen as a star of red light in the chest and the direct connection to the divine as a blue star at the crown of the head. In my own meditations these have been the two colours that have come the most and they are of a depth and quality beyond anything that can be experienced in ordinary reality.

The entire harp is intricately decorated with wood-burning and carving. Of particular interest are the roundels containing various animals including wolf-dogs and wild boar. There is also a lion fighting a dragon, a metaphor not dis-similar, to a jaguar fighting an anaconda(first two parts of Peruvian kundalini trinity). These may represent spirit or power animals. Hints of this and a shamanic state of consciousness can be found in the ancient tales.

‘While they were at Cruachan, Ailill asked Fraoch if the harpers would play after dinner. This was the condition of these harps. There were harp-bags (crotbuilcc) of the skins of otters about them, ornamented with coral, (Partaing) with an ornamentation of gold and of silver over that, lined inside with snow-white roebuck skins; and these again overlaid with black-gray strips of skin; and linen cloths, as white as the swan’s coat, wrapped around the strings. Harps (Crota) of gold, and silver, and Findruine, with figures of serpents, and birds, and greyhounds upon them. These figures were made of gold and of silver. Accordingly as the strings vibrated these figures ran around the men. They [the harpers] played for them then, until twelve men of Ailill’s and Medb’s household died of crying and emotion.’

The way these figures come ‘off’ the harps bears a striking similarity to what may happen in shamanic drumming in the Sami tradition.

‘One of the original and oldest names for the Sami shaman drum is govadas. It means an instrument that emanates images. The unique thing was thus the view that there were images coming out of them when they were used in the right way.’  The Shamanic Zone

The harp is also covered in many mysterious shapes and symbols including concentric circles like those found in sites like Newgrange. The patterns on the left side of the harmonic curve feel particularly archaic and have yet to be satisfactorily interpreted. I speculate that they may have been used for purposes of divination and I envision the shaman harper in a state of trance moving his tuning key over the symbols in the same way that a Sami noaide moved a pointer over the symbols on his drum.

Sami drum showing symbols and kundalini serpent ascending through the worlds on the spine.

I speculated on the comhluighe and how perhaps they were used shamanically on the harp. Sound and rhythm are often used in shamanism to induce and maintain an altered state of consciousness. The most common instrument used for this is the drum. One hundred and eighty beats per minute will induce a theta brainwave state, conducive to entering a shamanic state of consciousness. It is not only the repetitive beat that contributes to this state but also the complex harmonics generated by the drum. Perhaps, the harp was played alongside a drum for this purpose. In Ireland there is a traditional frame-drum, the bodhrán. Today, it is used exclusively as a musical instrument with very complex playing techniques having evolved to provide rhythmic accompaniment to Irish traditional music. I sense strongly though, that it is a vestige of an Irish shamanic drum. The bodhrán has a round wooden frame, with an animal skin, usually goat, stretched over it, just like most shamanic drums. At the back, the wooden hoop is braced with two pieces of wood in a cross pattern. This is reminiscent not only of the ‘four directions’ but also of the interior of some Siberian sacred drums. In Siberia, the vertical part of this basic handle is sometimes developed into a spirit figure, and the horizontal part used to hang various magical objects. Furthermore, the earliest bodhráns were sometimes called tambourines as, just like Siberian drums, they had jingles attached to them, to create additional sounds. That the bodhrán may have a shamanic origin is also suggested by the fact that it was never much used in Irish traditional music until comparatively recently, it was really due to the work of the composer Sean O’Riada, in the 1950’s and 60’s, that it entered popular culture as a musical instrument. The original use of the bodhrán in fact was ritualistic with strong associations with the ritual of ‘Hunting the Wren’ on St Stephen’s Day. In Ireland, the tiny wren became the king of all birds after hitching a ride on the back of the eagle and from there flying higher even than the eagle itself.

Siberian drum handle
Irish drum handle


I discovered that by playing the comhluighe rapidly and alternately it was possible to replicate the effect of the drum and it’s harmonics. Whilst pondering further how an Irish shaman harper might have used the instrument I remembered that there is still one great shamanic tradition that still uses a harp as its main instrument and that is Bitwi. Bitwi is a shamanic religion, which centres around one of the most powerful entheogens in the world, iboga. During the ceremony the effects of the iboga are enhanced by rapid and repetitive rhythmic motifs played on the harp accompanied by percussion. I suggest that the clairseach and the bodhrán may have also been used together in this manner.

I was delighted to find that in Gabon the harp is imbued with a deep spiritual symbolism uncannily similar to what I was seeing in my harp. What I found in the anthropological literature was that,

‘the soundbox of the harp, covered with antelope skin is seen as symbolic of the stomach of the female principle…there are two basic colours red female and white male painted on either side of the soundbox representing sexual union…the support arm represents male potency and also the backbone..the conjunction of support arm and soundbox, backbone and stomach all express sexual union.’

Regarding the strings,

‘…the four chords of the highest pitch are feminine, the four lowest masculine…as the harp is played masculine and feminine tones intermingle in another expression of that union which is the source of all vitality.’

The video below shows harp in combination with percussion to aid the shamanic iboga journey.

This spiritual aspect of the harp expressed itself also in my dreams. A common theme was the harp as kundalini. Several times the serpent would slither off the forepillar of the harp, rear up and talk to me. On another occasion I saw an old man sitting by a fulacht fia, an ancient Irish cooking pit. The snake of the harp was on the ground slithering towards him. In one breathtakingly beautiful dream the harp revealed itself as a portal and connection to other worlds. In the dream I saw my mother. From her hands she spun a golden harp string. It extended out in front of her and passed through the frame of the harp. The harp frame was like a window and as my eyes followed the golden string through it I could see a beautiful landscape of rolling hills, trees and temples. Sitting just inside this other world was a statue, half woman, and half snake. She turned her face towards me.

Eventually, the third part of the Peruvian trinity came to me, I dreamed of a Condor. In the dream I saw a little girl, she transformed into a condor, flew right up to my face, spread her wings and froze like this in mid air. I woke with a start and knew immediately I had been gifted some music. I went to the harp and played straight away my first spirit song. It was fully formed, no compositional process, a gift. It was the first of several pieces of music given to me in altered states of consciousness to be expressed on the harp. I called it Irish Icaro.

A friend of mine Barbara Karlik, uses her clairseach to journey and in a vision, saw her clairseach within a tree. To me the harp as the Tree of Strings can be seen as a musical expression of the Tree of Life, an extension of the kundalini awakened spine, a conduit for higher consciousness vibrating out into the Sacred Illusion.

Kundalini spiral from India
Double headed kundalini spiral from Ireland courtesy of Astrid Adler





Following the Reindeer

I feel the need to reblog this piece honouring those that follow the reindeer in the light of the awful news that because there is oil to be had, Russia is ordering a mass cull of reindeer, which basically amounts to culling the entire culture. It’s always profit before people and they will find any excuse to destroy those still living in traditional ways because they can’t make any money out of them.

On Yamal Peninsula, the administration has announced that it wants to slaughter 250,000 of the currently 700,000 reindeer living on the peninsula. At the same time, the Russian Ministry of Natural Resources is speeding up the development of new gas fields in the Arctic. Between June and September, a subsidiary of Russia’s second gas producer “NOVATEK” has received 4 licenses for areas located on the Yamal and Gydan Peninsulas in the region. Many herders may lose their means of existence.


This week has been quite intense spiritually. First, someone asked to see me for some shamanism. Before sleeping, I asked to be given some guidance on this and dreamed I was collecting jay feathers. The next morning on my walk, I found a beautiful jay feather and also a large crow feather under the oak where I meditate. The next night I dreamed I was gathering up huge amounts of crow feathers and I was shown two trees. The one on the right was full of crows and into the one on the left were flying orbs of pure white light, like bird-sized comets; a tree of Crows and a tree of Souls.


The following night I dreamed of hugging a tree in which were hanging all my shamanic paraphernalia, like in this picture.


Then, a young Irish traveller boy came and said to me, what do you know…

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A Holy Well and the Sacredness of Water


Kundalini Shakti expresses so often as water in my dreams. Whether rain, snow, river or sea, water in dreams, in its various forms, is always God talking to us. Recently, in an altered state of consciousness, the full moon, so intimately connected to water, rose in my third eye and a vision ensued.

I found I was walking up a hill to a beautiful white castle, looking behind me I could see a calm ocean. I entered the castle and turned to look out of the windows. I saw the ocean waves had become huge, much higher than the castle and that in fact the ocean was on all sides, that this great castle was a small insignificant object within this great ocean which was threatening to completely engulf it. This experience was terrifying but beautiful and as I returned to this world I asked, what was the meaning.

A voice said,  It is consciousness searching for the parts of you, it has not yet found.

In the garden of our new house, near Bantry, in the West of Ireland, is something very special. Sheltered in a tiny grove of elder and holly, is a holy well. The well was overgrown and covered in corrugated iron but we are slowly but surely restoring its beauty. I felt a strong spiritual connection to the well immediately and its holiness was confirmed to me when a shaman came in a dream and together, we placed medicinal plants all around it. The shaman said, we are creating an altar.  

We are deeply honoured by the presence of this ancient source and it will be the sacred centre of our new home.







Spontaneously Arising Shamanism



In Nepal, they have a term to describe aspects of shamanism that do not involve human teachers, they call this self generated or spontaneously arising shamanism. I have observed this certainly to be the case on my own journey and in the way my shamanic tools came to me.

One day, whilst reading a book by the late Mongolian/American shaman, Sarangerel, I discovered that one of the traditional grades of shaman is, a shaman with three drums and an altar. I found this quite astonishing as that is exactly the position I found myself at; spirits had guided me through dreams and visions to make three quite different drums and I did indeed have an altar. I had no real memory of consciously deciding to make an altar, it had indeed seemingly arisen spontaneously without intention or conscious effort on my part. It came about because I was being gifted so many spiritual objects that I needed a place to put them. A friend had given me some expensive whiskey, that came in a wooden box, lined with blue silk. The box seemed perfect to store my objects as it was also portable and I could bring it anywhere. I soon found myself using it as a handy altar, I could take what I needed out and set it up wherever I wanted. Upon further reading of Sarangerel I discovered that the Buryat shaman’s altar not only takes the form of a portable wooden box but that it is often lined with blue silk!


On my altar there are gifts from humans such as the knife and jingle cones, forged and gifted to me by a shamanic blacksmith, and the little Zuni bear, from my wife. There is also the piece of shed skin from a living female Komodo dragon, given to me unasked for by her keeper in Bali. Then, from nature, there is a stone with three lines on it, representing for me the Three Worlds of shamanism and a porcupine quill(used for spiritual protection in Mongolia) that I found on a beach in Sri Lanka. There is the impossibly beautiful and delicate shell of a wild bird egg(probably crow) and a pair of antlers brought to me by my dog. One is on the altar, the other became the beater of my drum. Within the drum there is also the wing of a buzzard. I found it dead on the road, its poor body was destroyed but the wings were perfect. Of the feathers, the tiny one is from a jay and the wing is from a small bird, which is how I sometimes see souls. The first striped feather is from a green woodpecker, this bird reminds me of a shaman, banging away on the tree trunk like a drum. The second one is from an owl and the last is from a crow but a specific type. I know this because when I found it, I sat and meditated with it. The spirit of the bird entered the back of my head and screeched its name, Rooook! This, is spontaneously arising shamanism.

Following the Reindeer

This week has been quite intense spiritually. First, someone asked to see me for some shamanism. Before sleeping, I asked to be given some guidance on this and dreamed I was collecting jay feathers. The next morning on my walk, I found a beautiful jay feather and also a large crow feather under the oak where I meditate. The next night I dreamed I was gathering up huge amounts of crow feathers and I was shown two trees. The one on the right was full of crows and into the one on the left were flying orbs of pure white light, like bird-sized comets; a tree of Crows and a tree of Souls.




The following night I dreamed of hugging a tree in which were hanging all my shamanic paraphernalia, like in this picture.


Then, a young Irish traveller boy came and said to me, what do you know about the Nenets? I knew absolutely nothing about them but awoke with the word in my head and looked it up straight away. I was amazed to discover, that the Nenets are an indigenous people in Arctic Russia whose main subsistence comes from hunting and reindeer herding. They have a shamanistic and anamistic belief system which stresses respect for the land and its resources. The Nenet shaman is called a Tadibya and they acknowledge three different kinds.

  • Vidutana, strong shamans standing in contact with the upper world
  • Yanyani tadebya, shamans belonging to the earth
  • Sambana shamans, shamans able to receive messages from dead people and to perform other rutuals concerning the dead.

Two of my drums are made from reindeer and so I feel a strong resonance with the Nenets.


This personal connection is reinforced by the Forest Nenets shamanic use of amanita muscaria. This plant spirit has been one of my most valuable teachers and in the same way that ayahuasca shamans sing icaros, the Nenet shamans have special Fly Agaric songs.



In my dream/visions the following night, my late mother-in law came, I know she is a protective presence as she transformed into a giant white cobra, rising high up into the air above me, at the same time a raptor with white feathers flew around us.

Then, I became aware of a multitude of shamans, they transformed into what I can only describe as a Sri Yantra of interconnecting reindeer horns expanding and contracting infinitely and simultaneously. I knew that these were my shamanic ancestors stretching back in time thousands of years, projecting the same into the future and that I was in the center of all this. The greatest respect an honour to the Nenets, the Sami and all traditional peoples who, despite the odds, are still following the reindeer.